Building On Brokenness

I began teaching our youth at FGSF just over a year ago, and trust me, I have been learning more than teaching. In His mysterious ways, God uses broken things to heal and restore, as He always has with those we can relate to in the Bible. And He chose to break me for His purpose. I was born into a Christian family, a pastor’s kid (PK). It’s strange, but there seems to be a common understanding that when a pastor’s kid goes wayward, there is no explanation needed as to why. But I completely understand the struggles growing up as a PK and the complexity of it all. Despite much suffering and pain, including my father’s death, I always kept God as the love of my life. This held true even when I tried to escape the strict environment of Christian “rules & regulations” and to live my life the way I determined it to be. I would keep God next to me so that He can continue to grant me what I needed. I kept a very private life, building a wall against anyone who was outside of my circle of trust. I quickly rode a wave of success in my career and eventually allowed pride to rule my heart because although I was saved, I was never transformed, never renewed.

As I began teaching the youth, God also began his work in me by breaking my pride, self-will, ambitions, lofty ideals, worldly reputation and desires. Then He began to challenge me to discipline myself for the purpose of godliness in my lifestyle and to deepen my character. He tested and challenged my faith to not flirt with righteousness, but to be a living sacrifice. I am nowhere near perfect at this point, but I am not driven by religion, but my love for Him. God taught me to pray for the church, the leaders, the parents and especially the youth, and I began to cry heart-wrenchingly for the souls of my kids. I genuinely understood the struggles the youth had shared with me: pressures of school, lack of self-confidence or positive self-image, loss of a parent(s), not having a close friend to attend church with, peer pressure and so much more.

To close, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that FGSF Youth is a group of broken individuals who are receivers of God’s loving grace and we rely on Him to lead and mold all of us. Sarah Kim